No matter where I turned,
I was constantly reminded that I was not good enough in more ways, than one.
Consequently, I tried to live perfect..
I did believe Perfectionism would drive me up the wall,
But to the contrary, I realised that I had been living under the constant pressure to be perfect.
I did expect nothing less from others.
B'coz of this tenacious focus to be perfect,
I did lose moments of relating to people and doing things.
I strive not to regret but things like these are hard to confide and i absolutely regret.
The torment in being perfectionists is that you never find anything perfect,
simply because "perfection does not exist".
gOOd !!, that i have now realised the subtle difference between aiming for a successful life and trying to acheive perfection.
Glad, that I am out of the perfectionism-trap.
Just when I have something figured out, along comes another,
These days,
<-> My time-management is out of date (not that i was punctual then)
<-> I am detached from the core of who I am,
<-> Im 2 conscious not 2 show up wid fabricated self 2 gain approval.
<-> I always felt my accomplishments are never good enough
<-> I seldom achieved personal satisfaction
<-> I am afraid to show my flaws
<-> I am very vulnerable to rejection
<-> I am hard on myself
<-> I expect perfection of others
That's me and it gets worse.just to conclude,
I AM ANOTHER IMPERFECT HUMANBEING, HAPPY FOR WHATEVER I AM.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
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